learning to adapt to change better

You are Welcomed here!

Whether it’s the transition from professional life to parenting, a relocation or a new role, I’ve been there.

If you’re adapting to a change in your life—big or small—you’re in the right place.

Here, I unpack what I’ve learned adapting to different roles, routines, cultures, daily and seasonal rhythms. I hope you can learn from my mistakes and, most of all, know you are not alone.

Transitions are hard for all of us. They are also a great place to learn and grow!

the trouble with trying to carry it all on your own

The first time I moved overseas, I was 23, young, adventurous, and not very organized.

I stayed up until 2 am packing. By packing, I mean rolling and rearranging clothing—Tetris-style—around the jars of peanut butter in my bulging backpack.

I wasn’t selecting what to bring, only stuffing, hoping to make it somehow smaller and preferably lighter. The weight limit was 70 lbs. I was aiming for 69.6 lbs! No Sour Patch Kid left behind.

And I had to get up three hours later for my flight!

I was proud of how much I had fit in my backpack until I had to carry it. Standing in security lines, I was terrified they might open it! There was no way I could ever squeeze all that stuff back in again!

why it's better to get what we need as we go

My packing looks very different these days.

Did you know in Tokyo and Seoul, you can buy diapers at convenience stores—just one or two at a time?! Because no one in their right mind wants to carry a Costco size box of diapers on a crowded subway! Obviously.

The more I’ve travelled, the more I’ve learned that I can pick up what I need along the way. We don’t need it all from the get go.

Same goes for parenting.

Many of us approach parenting—and other life changes—the way I packed that luggage. As if we needed ALL the answers and ALL the gear stockpiled in case we might need them someday. We read up on raising teens when all we really need this month is to not be caught without a diaper. And snacks. Always, snacks.

Living like that is heavy. And it’s stressful.

The truth is, we’ll keep developing skills, discovering resources and meeting helpful people as we need them. When we’re ready to apply them in our real lives. Just like I could have bought peanut butter in a foreign country. (Yes, it cost more, but really!)

The things we keep carrying (that don’t fit anymore)

We also carry things that we used regularly in our previous work but we don’t need so much these days.

My training is in Engineering, so I love a good system.

I drove myself crazy trying to make our kitchen more efficient and our days more productive. I tried SMART goals—great if you have childcare lined up. I signed up for courses—which I enjoyed, but then I spent my afternoon on that and dinnertime was chaos.

I gradually realized a few things

1. I was trying to revamp everything at once. Small steps work much better!!

2. I was expecting myself to establish routines and get my space in order while we were in transition. My expectations for what I could get done in one day just didn’t fit my life anymore. These adjustments take time—almost invariably, longer than I’d like!

3. I only felt productive when I was checking lots of tasks off a to-do list. My definition of what it meant to be productive--or even useful--didn't fit my life at home with little kids. I needed to think about productivity differently, not just get more done.

   
   
   

These realizations are helping me become less overwhelmed and reactive. Instead, I’m more present and have more fun. I’m free to enjoy my kids, and this whole parenting experience, more often.

Thanks for joining me as we unpack parenting together, even while your life keeps changing!